Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Nothing was ruined

Read someone on my Twitter TL asking why guys who are good friends have to go on and ruin friendships by asking the girl out or as we more popularly refer in India as ‘Proposing’. Now, I have two theories on this which I thought I will write a short note about.

First theory is that most guys, who become your friends, are never really looking for just friendship. From the very beginning they want it to be a romantic relationship. For a generation that not only tolerated Kuch Kuch Hota Hai but also took several life lessons from it, friendship to love seems to be the best route for them. Obviously they have never read our friendzone jokes. Or maybe they think they are too charming to be caught in it. But my point is that girls tend to either intentionally or unintentionally ignore the reason why a guy is friends with them in the first place. I think it is way too obvious and I, with a high level of success rate, have always been able to predict why a guy is friends with a girl in the first place. But maybe girls have a blind spot there. Similarly girls claim to have similar knowledge about other girls and their intentions. Maybe it is just easier to predict behaviour of your own gender more accurately. But you know what would be helpful? Be aware about it a little. People give away enough hints unintentionally. You don’t have to be Sherlock to know what's on their mind when they act all cheesy and ping you 24*7. So if you don’t want to act all surprised when they suddenly become weird, pre-empt it. Also, remember they were never really your friend and there was never really a friendship. There was only an attempt to be something more. So effectively, nothing was ruined.

Second theory is completely different. I think a relationship is much more likely to work if it started after both individuals know about each other well.  Isn't it better than asking a relatively stranger person out having been infatuated just by their looks or some other single attribute? Only to be disappointed later by finding out other despicable things about them. If a person has been your friend, he probably knows a lot about you, and the fact that he developed feelings for you for qualities other than just physical attributes is pretty much what I hear girls wishing for all the time. And even if the other person doesn't reciprocate, I think it is a risk worth taking. And remember since one person is already thinking in terms of more than just friendship, only the illusion of a good friendship was ruined. Cause it stopped being one. So effectively, nothing was ruined. 


  1. If it gets 'ruined' this way, it was not worth keeping any way. Hamesha front foot pe khelo.

  2. Thumbs up for the second theory :-)